The management trainer's story

Before I provide a solution, I think its important for you to acknowledge that what you have tried in the past has not worked. And to understand why that is. Let me begin by telling you a short (true) story.

I went to a management training course recently where the trainer told the group about a top level law firm partner whom he had provided private sessions to. At their first meeting, the partner looked anxiously at the trainer and said, "I am terribly disorganised in my administration tasks and a poor manager. This makes me stressed and frustrated in my job. I want to learn how to be an organised person and a good manager. Can you help me?" The trainer looked at the partner, whose face was tight with worry and expectation, and paused before answering: "Have you tried to improve these qualities in the past?"

The partner breathed out heavily and said: "Yes, I've tried everything. Calendars, outlook reminders, books, training courses. You name it, I've tried it!"

The trainer went on: "And has any of it every worked?" "No," said the partner sadly.

Everyone in the audience waited for the trainer to describe how he then went on to transform and empower the partner to become an organised and talented manager. But instead, to our surprise, the trainer said, "Then I asked the partner: So what makes you think things are going to be different this time?" The partner, like the audience in the training course, answered with surprise, "why, I don't know, nothing I guess."

The trainer then asked the partner: "Tell me, what engages you about your work?" The partner's face lifted and he answered immediately: "It's when I am working uninterrupted on a challenging, intellectually stimulating legal problem." The trainer then said, "And what happens to your administration and management tasks when you are in that state?"

The partner paused and contemplated for a moment before answering: "Well, they just kind of get done as and when required." "And how do you feel at those times?" "I feel great", responded the partner, "because I am doing what I love."

The trainer said: "Right! So what I want to do is work with you to find ways to maximise your time in the engaged state and minimise the time when you are dealing with management and administration requirements which you don't enjoy".

And so he did, apparently with great success and to the partner's delight. Rather than trying to change the partner's character and teaching him to become a more organised and better manager, he focused on helping the partner to find ways to spend more time being engaged in his work. As the trainer predicted, the administration and management tasks which the partner had previously been so focused upon simply 'got done' and ceased to be a problem.

You are the partner in the above story and your constant worry and obsessive focus upon your eating and exercising is likewise setting you up to fail. Until you shift your focus, you will continue to fail again and again - regardless of whether you try dieting, calorie counting, low fat foods or a new exercise regime. I am here to tell you to shift your focus and to help you to succeed once and for all.